The Blog of RichBrand

In a rare free moment I had as a 1st year MBA student, I wrote this blog after I got out of my car before my evening classes:

Over the last couple of days I have listened to colleagues in my program talk about how it’s ironic that there are so many single people in our program (for those that haven’t kept up with me, I’m doing my MBA at Howard right now), read an article in the school paper about how times have changed and women come to Howard and get a degree as a plan A versus the old plan A where they would go for their MRS. versus their MPH, and yesterday I listened for a few minutes to the Michael Baisden show on the topic “why beautiful black women can’t find a man”.

The show yesterday was definitely interesting, and it brought some things to light. A LOT of women were calling in , bitching and complaining about how beautiful they were and how, for some reason, a lot of men don’t approach them. IMHO, there are a few reasons why that could be. But the main reason why some of these “fine” women are having trouble are one of two things. Either they have un-manageable baggage that no decent man will want to undertake, or the absolute reality that some women won’t come to grips with: YOU ARE NOT FINE.

Another reality that was brought out yesterday was something that a lot of men (no matter what race, status, or home training) think: there’s no reason that a woman who’s pretty, smart, nice, can cook, has interdependence, exercise a commitment environment versus a control environment with her man (unlike Jackie Christie), and is God-fearing (first and foremost) should NOT be single, for any reason at all. The first thing that goes through our heads is “if she’s single, there must be something wrong. What the hell’s wrong with her?” Granted there are a lot of women in DC, who I happened to find attractive, that happen to be single, hiding behind any “rock” they can find. Ladies, there’s nothing wrong with saying “the right man for me hasn’t found me yet”. That’s real simple, and that shouldn’t offend anybody. We all know that a woman’s more likely to compromise her career for long term romance and/or a family than a man is, so when I hear a woman say she’s too busy with her career or for school, I and most men think that’s BULLSHIT. And there’s not one woman who can give enough of a justification to prove me wrong (sorry you can’t, I’ve seen enough to know otherwise).

Another point I want to make is that a lot of us do get caught up in looks and are more likely to make concessions for a woman’s interior shortcomings just because she’s “fine” (why do you think so many of these celebrities we drool over have issues?) and women do the same with men that either have obtained a certain status or made you cum real hard (tell me I’m lying). Now, from personal experience, I have learned that women have issues, regardless of their level of aesthetic pleasure. I have dated some “aight” looking women who had insecurities about dating me. I’ve dated the light skinned, light eyed “Cali looking” chick (my most current dating endeavor) and even though she meant well, that woman was CRAZZZZZZY, DERRRRANGED. I said all that to say that women are women are women are women, which means that looks don’t dictate if a person’s sane or not.

Bottom line of this blog is to say there’s no official patent on why a lot of beautiful women are single, or even why I am single either. You could blame the rise of DL brothas, the lack of educated black men, the rise of DL SISTAS as well, or the unrealistic expectations of men and women. This could get argued about for hours, but bottom line is that WE should not give up hope on each other, learn to be honest and have genuine dialogue with each other about our intentions and what we want to do, and stop making excuses for our faulty romantic lives and have the ability to move on to bigger and better.

I know what I wrote sounds (to me) like rambling, but what do you think on this subject?