Archive for April 2009
Good on paper don’t always mean you good
With the year I spent in ATL, I ran into a lot of people who are very well off. I am definitely able to confirm that ATL is definitely a good place to be in network with a lot of emerging black professionals and entrepreneurs. However, that same year there also brought confirmation to the arrogance (warranted or not) that we have as a people once we get a taste of success. Of course you reading this and are probably thinking “Yeah, and….. that’s not new. The black bourgeoisie have acted in this manner since at least the Civil War. What’s your point Rich?” Well……… before I get to that (in my Cosby voice), I would like to tell you a story (or two).
Not to get into detail to keep discretion, I was dragged into a situation several months back related to a dude that was playing these two chicks in the A. Because I did the right thing and facilitated a convo with the two chicks, who didn’t know each other, dude got mad and sent out a fake email telling side chick that I was going around the A saying I slept with said chick. And you know how telephone goes, it goes from one chick, to a few chicks, etc etc. Once this goes down I get an email from side chick cussing me out, talking about how I need to stop doing X, Y, and Z, and how I ain’t no good, etc etc, blah blah blah. Knowing me, I don’t just let some idiot with a degree just do that, so I came back at her. She then had the audacity to come back at me with the notion of “how dare you say (blank) about me. I am a good woman. I have a Masters Degree. I have my own place. I got a good job. I got my own, and I’m a (member of a sorority), so you can’t tell ME that I’m not a good woman.”
(wait, hold that thought, now story #2)
Keeping it in the A, one of my homegirls there, despite the mythical shortage of men in the A, has NO problem whatsoever getting men to be interested in her (fellas don’t ask who she is because she has a man now, LOL). She told me about how a lot of guys who are well off that try to get at her. But given that she’s used to that, you need more than money to cop her. So this one guy takes her out a couple of times, and he thinks he’s in, but she’s just not feeling dude like that. In order for him to not prolong the waste of his time and resources, she keeps it 100 and tells him she’s no longer interested. Ol’ boy proceeds to hit her with “(chick) are you serious?? You not interested in me?!?! Come on now, I’m dark skinned, got my own house, I make 6 figures, and I’m Nigerian. And you don’t want me?!?!?”
I shared both stories to make it clear that this is not just women doing this or just men. Here’s the deal: All of my personal accomplishments don’t mean anything to me or any of my closest friends if I don’t have the soul and heart to compliment it. There are a lot of people out there that have ivy league resumes with 13th grade character. I could have the money of Warren Buffett, have all of the women I want for every day of the week, get bathed daily like Akeem with a royal penis cleaning, live in an estate the size of South Beach, and STILL not get called home.
Any money, power, fame, success that you have means nothing if you’re not doing right by it in public OR behind closed doors. I ask anyone who is reading this to take inventory of how many blessings you have in your life compared to how many times you have been a blessing to others (or how many times you have been a curse to others). How many times have you forsaken eurocentric behavior at work to help a co-worker? How many times have you stolen someone else’s (wo)man? When was the last time you prayed for a platonic friend unsolicited? When was the last time you were genuinely happy for somebody other than yourself?
Just a few things to think about the next time you look at your resume and declare how tight you are. Are you really, homie?!?!?
